Zebra Trash Cake of Doom

I got this recipe for zebra bundt cake from Bake Me Away. It was one of the cakes featured on The Food Librarian's Big Bundts 2 Round Up. When I saw it, I knew it was going to get bumped up to the top of my to do list. Besides, the recipe was from King Arthur Flour so it's gotta be good. Right? Um no.

It was dreadfully, awfully, horribly, sickeningly disgusting.

I thought that making a red and green version would be super cool and festive to take to a Christmas party. As you can see...the Red and the Green just did not jive well together. I think it would only be festive if one was celebrating the Feast of St. Grossington from Pukingshire. Aside from the atrocious color palate, the cake itself was unpleasant. When I took it out of the oven there was oil bubbling up from the top. Lots of oil. I thought, well maybe it is supposed to be that way. No. No. No.

After letting the cake sit for 20 minutes the darn thing fell. And when I say fell I mean it jumped off of the Willis Building. It was half as tall as what it was when it first came out of the oven. Not a good sign. I mean it's not a good sign unless you like cake so dense it has it's own gravitational pull.

The one good thing about this cake is that it came out of the bundt pan like a dream. Well it should...with all that oil. You can see how shiny the cake is in the picture above. That shine isn't from my camera flash. It's oil.

Once I had resigned myself to the fact that I was indeed not bringing this cake to share with my friends, I decided to at least test a slice. Maybe if I covered it with white chocolate glaze it would be ok for us to eat at home. I cut the smallest sliver and split it with Mrblocko.
After one bite he looked and me and said, "It tastes.."
"Disgusting?" I offered.
"Yes!" He concurred, and we promptly spit our offending mouthfuls into the garbage.

Since I was already throwing this bad boy out, I thought I would cut up the cake to see what the zebra stripes looked like.
Meh. Ugly and undefined. On the upside it was fun to take a slice of cake and mash it in my fist and watch all the oil ooze out onto my hands.

It broke my heart to toss an entire cake into the trash. This was, however, the first time I made something that was completely unsalvageable. I've made a lot of desserts that have turned out just fine. I've also made a lot of mistakes in the kitchen. I think it's pretty sweet odds to say that there was only one thing that I made that I haven't been able to turn into something edible.

One final note to emphasize that this cake was just not meant to be...the next day, when I went to use the heavy cream that I had intended to use for the glaze, the darn cream had curdled. Then, I proceeded to dump said container of chunky cream all over the counter. Talk about the cake of doom!!!!

Zebra Bundt Cake from Bake me Away
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
6 large eggs
1 1/2 cups milk (whole, 2% or 1%)
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 + 1/8 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 tablespoons Dutch-process cocoa powder, sifted to remove lumps

In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat together the eggs and sugar until light, about 2 minutes. On low speed, blend in the milk, oil, and vanilla until combined. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix on medium speed until the lumps are gone. Remove 3 cups of the batter and pour into a 4 cup measuring cup (see note above). Add the sifted cocoa powder and mix very thoroughly. Preheat oven to 350F. Lube your bundt pan generously with Pam with flour or Baker’s Joy. At the base of the bundt (point closest to you), spoon about 3 tablespoons of the vanilla batter in one spot (it will spread). Then spoon about 3 tablespoons of the chocolate batter in the center of the vanilla batter. Continue alternating batters like this until you run out of batter. It will spread and fill out the rest of the pan while keeping this pattern. Bake the bundt for about 45 – 55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Let the bundt cool for about 20 minutes in the pan, then invert it onto a cooling rack. Let cool completely.

Project #21: money magnets

My crazy uncle asked for some more magnets for Christmas. Since I didn't want to give him any old boring magnets, or more magnets like the ones I've made him previously, the hunt was on for some crafty new magnet idea. Then I saw directions for these coin magnets over at instructables and I had one of those "Why didn't I think of that?" moments.

I was even able to turn the whole process into something a bit educational for Blockette when I cleaned the coins with vinegar. Some of the coins were really dirty so it was fun to see her expression when they got shiny from the stinky vinegar.
first row: wheat penny, Japanese Yen, publishers clearing house coin

second row: South African Rand, The middle 2 I don't know what they are. (Russian maybe?), and Canadian Quarter.

Blockette also gave my uncle an enormous stack of artwork for Christmas so he had something to use the magnets for right away. I'm sure that my uncle will have a hard time deciding which masterpiece to feature first. Actually, I think she gave him enough that he could wallpaper half his house.

Project #20: Moo Re-do

Deja vu? No. This cross stitch is different from the one I posted earlier. Click here for the original. You can clearly see that the bottom of the cross stitch says 2009.

When I made this last year for my mom it grew legs and walked home with someone else at Joann Fabric's. My mom took it there to get a frame and when she got to the counter the frame was in her hand, but the cross stitch was not. She scoured the store but it was gone. No one turned it in to an employee either. Well, I hope who ever owns the original is enjoying it.

The second one stitched up much faster than the original, although it has it's own set of whoopsies that no one but me will ever know about. (Go ahead! I double dog dare you to find them. There are at LEAST three.)

Anyhow I finished this version in time for Christmas and I told my mom she better put a leash on this one if she takes it for a walk in the fabric store again!

Seafood Bread Pudding

This is the last of the bread puddings, and by far the best! After about 20 minutes of baking, the aroma that filled the house was absolutely mouth watering. Blockette even came up to me and said, "Mommy, what smells sooooooo good?" I replied, "Dinner!"
I had to make a few substitutions to use what I had on hand. I used imitation crab meat, 1/2 Tablespoon each dried parsley and tarragon, A mix of white, wheat and rye bread cubes, and all milk (no cream). I also roasted the red pepper under the broiler to bring out more caramelized goodness.

You really know the recipe is good when you can swap out milk for cream and have the whole family still rant and rave about how good the meal is.

The only bad part about this bread pudding is that it doesn't taste nearly as good the second time around. The leftovers were still good, but just not AS good. Next time, unless I'm making this for company, I'll only make a half batch.

Head over to Tasty Kitchen to find the recipe for: crab and fontina cheese bread pudding .
4 Tablespoons Butter
1-½ cup Lump Crab Meat, Picked Over
2 cups Fontina Cheese (shredded)
1 Tablespoon Lemon Juice
2 Tablespoons Chopped Fresh Herbs (like Chives, Parsley And/or Tarragon)
8 cups Day Old Italian Bread, Cubed Into 1" Pieces
6 whole Eggs
1 cup Milk
1 cup Heavy Cream
½ cups Red Pepper, Diced And Seeded
¼ cups Celery, Diced
1 whole Shallot, Diced
1 clove Garlic

Grease a medium gratin dish with two tablespoons of butter. In a pan, combine the other two tablespoons of butter with red pepper, shallot, celery and garlic, and season with salt and pepper. Cook over medium heat until soft and fragrant. Allow vegetable mixture to cool, and combine with the crabmeat, lemon juice, and herb mixture. In a separate bowl, whisk eggs, and combine with milk and heavy cream.

Place a layer of bread cubes, then a layer of the crab mixture, and sprinkle with fontina cheese. Repeat until all of your ingredients are used, and finish with a final sprinkle of fontina cheese. Pour egg mixture over the entire gratin dish. You can do this the night before, but let the egg mixture soak into the bread mixture for at least 10 minutes before putting it into a preheated 350F oven. Bake for 45-55 minutes until set, puffed and golden brown. Serve immediately.

Pumpkin Pie Bread Pudding

Yes! More bread pudding. There was a LOT of leftover bread. This Bread Pudding is a sweeter version than the Sausage Pudding from the other day. It tastes a lot like French Toast, with the added benefit of a vegetable. Hooray for pumpkin puree! Is there anything that you can't be snuck into?I took inspiration from two sources for this recipe:
1.) pumpkin pie bread pudding from barefoot kitchen witch

2.)pumpkin bread pudding from bakedbree.com

I just sort of smashed the 2 recipes together. The biggest change was that I cooked it at a higher temp. I hate really gummy bread pudding. If you are looking for a dish that is going to be crispy on top, this is not it. Even in reheating the leftovers I couldn't get a toasted crouton like top. The pudding goes from soft to burnt. There is no in between.

Blockette was happy. She prefers the softer version of bread pudding. She was happy that there were no crunchy bits on top. Even though I like the toastier versions of bread pudding, this recipe was really delicious. If you have a major sweet tooth you could add syrup. It is completely unnecessary though. The dish is tasty enough to stand on its own.

Here's what I did:

Pumpkin Bread pudding

8 cups of cubed bread (I used a combo of white, wheat and cinnamon raisin because that's what I had on hand. Go crazy and use whatever floats your boat.)

1/2 c brown sugar

1/4 c maple syrup (I used the fake stuff and it tasted fine)

4 eggs

2 c milk

1 15 oz can of pumpkin puree

1/2 T vanilla

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1/4 tsp salt

1 c chopped toasted pecans

topping:

2 T sugar

2 T turbinado sugar (I don't know that this is necessary, but it does crystallize nicely on the top of the finished dish. I only had some because I like to "liberate" packets from places that sell coffee.)

1 T cinnamon

Preheat your oven to 375. Spray a 9x13 baking dish with cooking spray. Stir 2 sugars and cinnamon in a small bowl to make the topping. Set this aside. In a large bowl combine brown sugar, syrup and eggs. Add milk, pumpkin, vanilla, spice and salt. Combine. Add bread to the goo and stir to coat. Let the bread soak up the goodness for about 15 min or so. Fold in the toasted pecans. (Mrblocko says "Raisins would be a tasty addition to this dish." Personally, I only like raisins in savory dishes, oatmeal cookies, or by themselves. I don't even like them in cinnamon bread. If you do, feel free to add a cup of your favorite shriveled grape!) Pour the bread-y mixture into the prepared dish. Sprinkle the topping mixture evenly over the top. Bake for about 40-60 min until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool slightly before serving so you don't burn the roof of your mouth for heaven's sake!

Sausage and Onion Bread Pudding

I mentioned here that I had been in charge of preparing the bread for communion on World Communion Sunday. The way our church does it, you freeze the bread so it doesn't get mangled, cut off the crusts, then cube the bread into individual bite size portions. Well with 3 loaves of sliced bread, that is a lot of crusts, not to mention the stuff that is left over from the services. I hate to just throw all that stuff away. It seems like such a waste.

Handy dandy Internet to the rescue! I did a search on Bread pudding and came up with some tasty ideas from Radishes and Rhubarb, The stone soup , cooking on the side, and tasty kitchen Blogs. I took ideas from all of them and came up with this nummy little concoction below.

(Just so you know, the deep dark bits are from the pumpernickel bread, and not because I burned it!)

I also thought I should mention that I realize that World Communion Sunday was waaaay back in the beginning of October. I thought I would wait until I used up all the leftover bread and post all the bread puddings at the same time. Bread pudding makes a lot of food for just three people and I knew that if I made more than one a month we would get very sick of it.

Without further ado...here is my version of this breakfast-y casserole.

Sausage and Onion Bread Pudding
1lb bulk breakfast sausage
3 medium onions
6 cups of cubed stale bread
2 cups of milk (I used 1 c skim milk and 1 c evaporated milk because I had it leftover from another meal)
6 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp dry powdered mustard
2 cups of miscellaneous cheese (I had bits of Swiss, mozzarella, sharp cheddar, Colby and pepper jack that I used up to make the 2 cups...use what you have!)

Preheat your oven to 375 F. Spray a 9x13 baking dish with cooking spray. Brown your sausage in a large skillet. While the sausage is cooking thinly slice the onion into half moons. Remove the sausage from the pan and drain the fat. In the sausage grease, caramelize the sliced onions. We like ours almost burnt, most people like their onions a light tan. Do whatever floats your boat! In a separate bowl combine the milk, eggs, salt, and mustard. Layer half the bread on the bottom of the prepared baking dish, followed by half the cheese, half the sausage and half the onions. Repeat with the remaining bread, cheese, sausage and onions. Pour the custard mixture evenly over the entire casserole. Bake uncovered for 60 minutes until the bread has absorbed the custard and the cheese is melty.

Thankful Thursday 41

1. The big snow storm managed to pass us by.
2. I officially have all my Christmas shopping done.
3. I also managed to find all the addresses for people's Christmas cards AND get them all sent off.
4. Cookie baking time has begun.
5. Cookie eating time has begun.
6. Mrblocko's sister was not hurt when she got robbed.
7. Seeing friends I haven't seen in ages.
8. None of the 4 year olds picked their noses or had to go potty in the middle of the Christmas pagent.
9. Neither did Blockette.
10. Poofy Christmas stickers one of my friends gave to Blockette. She practically begged me to take them off her hands. They have literally provided hours and hours of entertainment.