Zebra Trash Cake of Doom

I got this recipe for zebra bundt cake from Bake Me Away. It was one of the cakes featured on The Food Librarian's Big Bundts 2 Round Up. When I saw it, I knew it was going to get bumped up to the top of my to do list. Besides, the recipe was from King Arthur Flour so it's gotta be good. Right? Um no.

It was dreadfully, awfully, horribly, sickeningly disgusting.

I thought that making a red and green version would be super cool and festive to take to a Christmas party. As you can see...the Red and the Green just did not jive well together. I think it would only be festive if one was celebrating the Feast of St. Grossington from Pukingshire. Aside from the atrocious color palate, the cake itself was unpleasant. When I took it out of the oven there was oil bubbling up from the top. Lots of oil. I thought, well maybe it is supposed to be that way. No. No. No.

After letting the cake sit for 20 minutes the darn thing fell. And when I say fell I mean it jumped off of the Willis Building. It was half as tall as what it was when it first came out of the oven. Not a good sign. I mean it's not a good sign unless you like cake so dense it has it's own gravitational pull.

The one good thing about this cake is that it came out of the bundt pan like a dream. Well it should...with all that oil. You can see how shiny the cake is in the picture above. That shine isn't from my camera flash. It's oil.

Once I had resigned myself to the fact that I was indeed not bringing this cake to share with my friends, I decided to at least test a slice. Maybe if I covered it with white chocolate glaze it would be ok for us to eat at home. I cut the smallest sliver and split it with Mrblocko.
After one bite he looked and me and said, "It tastes.."
"Disgusting?" I offered.
"Yes!" He concurred, and we promptly spit our offending mouthfuls into the garbage.

Since I was already throwing this bad boy out, I thought I would cut up the cake to see what the zebra stripes looked like.
Meh. Ugly and undefined. On the upside it was fun to take a slice of cake and mash it in my fist and watch all the oil ooze out onto my hands.

It broke my heart to toss an entire cake into the trash. This was, however, the first time I made something that was completely unsalvageable. I've made a lot of desserts that have turned out just fine. I've also made a lot of mistakes in the kitchen. I think it's pretty sweet odds to say that there was only one thing that I made that I haven't been able to turn into something edible.

One final note to emphasize that this cake was just not meant to be...the next day, when I went to use the heavy cream that I had intended to use for the glaze, the darn cream had curdled. Then, I proceeded to dump said container of chunky cream all over the counter. Talk about the cake of doom!!!!

Zebra Bundt Cake from Bake me Away
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
6 large eggs
1 1/2 cups milk (whole, 2% or 1%)
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 + 1/8 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 tablespoons Dutch-process cocoa powder, sifted to remove lumps

In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat together the eggs and sugar until light, about 2 minutes. On low speed, blend in the milk, oil, and vanilla until combined. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix on medium speed until the lumps are gone. Remove 3 cups of the batter and pour into a 4 cup measuring cup (see note above). Add the sifted cocoa powder and mix very thoroughly. Preheat oven to 350F. Lube your bundt pan generously with Pam with flour or Baker’s Joy. At the base of the bundt (point closest to you), spoon about 3 tablespoons of the vanilla batter in one spot (it will spread). Then spoon about 3 tablespoons of the chocolate batter in the center of the vanilla batter. Continue alternating batters like this until you run out of batter. It will spread and fill out the rest of the pan while keeping this pattern. Bake the bundt for about 45 – 55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Let the bundt cool for about 20 minutes in the pan, then invert it onto a cooling rack. Let cool completely.