Thursday, December 20, 2012

Thankful Thurs #51

A regular listing of things I'm thankful for just didn't seem right this week.  Particularly since I all I can think of is how thankful I am every day my daughter comes home safely from school.  But then I feel guilt in my gratitude because I think about all the kids who didn't come home safely, or even at all.

Last Friday was one of the hardest days to go into work.  That hour of being so close to Blockette, yet being so far was agony.  All I wanted to do was hold her and squoosh her and never let her go.  It was hard to hold back the tears seeing all the parents drive home with their kids in tow.

You see, the day before, we got a mass email from the school district saying that there had been a threat of violence made to one of the schools set for Dec 21st. (Tomorrow aka the end of the Mayan Calendar.)  The rumor started in one of the high schools and disseminated through the jr high to the elementary schools. 

Mrblocko and I had a hard time deciding whether or not to send Blockette to school this whole week.  Ultimately, we came to the conclusion that for the kids in Connecticut, last Friday was no different from any other day.  The police have been involved in the threat in our school district and are on alert.  I've seen police somewhere in the radius of the school property every day this week.   If someone WAS going to do something, they probably won't now because the police are involved. 

Also, we've been trusting Blockette's school with her safety for two and a half years now.  Has anything changed within the school to make us regret or question that trust?  No.

So should we put our lives on hold because there are crazies out there?  No.  Bad things can happen anywhere.  Bad people are everywhere.  Should we stop going to malls, movies, work, etc?  NO! Living in fear is not truly living.  It's letting the evil win. 

Blockette's been trying to wrap her mind around everything that's happened.  Some of the questions she has, I just don't have answers for. "Why did he do it?" "Why did he kill himself?"  All I can say is "I don't know."

 How do you make your child feel safe when you yourself are terrified and horrified by the same things?  I'm doing the best I can I guess.  Trying to remain calm.  Trying to explain to her that the things she heard about the shootings at school are just not true.  That there is no bad kid that lives on our street that is going to break into our house and kill all the kids.  (Yes.  Some second grader is telling that story to their classmates.) 

This brings me back around to being at work last Friday.  One mom gave me a Christmas card.  I don't know if she planned to do it that day well in advance, or decided that afternoon.  I waited until I was alone to open it.  Inside it said, "Thank you for keeping us safe everyday."


That small sentiment has helped me get through all this madness.  It's made me realize all the good people in my life.  All the people that help each other, and all the people who do keep all the kids at the school safe.  The bus drivers, the teachers, the custodians, the nurses, the people in the office, the school volunteers...each day, they do what is needed, probably without thinking about it half the time.  It gave me a lot of hope for mankind.  And that...that is what I think I am most thankful for this past week.

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